Every first-time foster carer is bound to have an expected level of anxiety, and this is absolutely normal. Just like when you start any new role, the first day nerves will kick in, but it is best not to let them show where possible when meeting your new child placement. To help make that first day or night go as smoothly as possible, with a long-term placement focus, here is some guidance for new carers with their first child.

Let Go of Expectations

When you are going through the process of becoming a verified carer, you may have preconceptions about what it will all be like. The version of events conjured in your mind will likely differ from reality, but that’s okay. No one truly knows what something will be like until they are doing it, and with a long-term foster placement, there are too many variables to be able to know how things will turn out. Therefore, letting go of expectations is the first place to start. Find acceptance in knowing that the child will have needs you can’t necessarily anticipate before you meet them and being prepared for all eventualities will be beneficial in terms of making the pairing functional for everyone.

Have Everything Ready

Be prepared! Get their bedroom ready, stock the cupboards, provide all the essentials and get your foster carer head switched on. Remember, it is harder for the child coming into your home than it is for you, and you have to exude confidence and preparedness to give essential comfort.

Remember Core Training

Fostering, as explained by fosterplus.co.uk, in a long-term context, is designed to facilitate a quality of life for a child in care. You are their advocate, their support network, and their mentor in many situations, but you are not the only person involved in their care program. As the placement progresses, there will be a lot of joy but some challenges too. Core training is ongoing, and often mandatory for good reason. When things go right, remember your training and respond as advised. Similarly, when things might go wrong, draw strength from what you have learned and invest in the suggested tactics.

Be Neutral

Don’t come on too strong when you first meet the child, or throughout the getting to know each other period. Be yourself but remain neutral. Earning their trust is a long game and requires strategic, careful planning in the place of impulsive excitement.

Create a Support Network

Remember that you will need support too, and this can be found in lots of places. Create a connection with your child’s social worker and branch out into the network of local carers in a similar position to yourself.

The most valuable piece of advice you can follow is to let go of your expectations and preconceptions. You never know the whole story with any child that walks through your door needing safety, so it is your job to provide security above all else in those first few weeks. All the other stuff comes later if the placement is intended as long-term. Remember that trust is built, not given.